REFLECTIONS ON MASCULINITY
(for any gender)
Objective: To reflect on gender stereotypes, social gender roles and the lessons we internalise about masculinity through autobiographical storytelling.
Duration: As long as necessary.
Materials: A sheet of paper, a pen and a quiet place.
Development
We already know that gender is a social, cultural, political, economic, geographical construction, a very complex fabric that involves femininity and masculinity and their expressions. and women, of course. We can apply to men what Beauvoir stated about women: “One is not born, but rather becomes a woman”, saying “One is not born, but rather becomes a man!” meaning that we can transform men and masculinity. To encourage this change, we propose you to reflect guided by some questions, to understand our own relationship with masculinity, the biases we have, our desires, trying to encompass the issues that shape the way we relate to each other and “do” masculinity(ies).
Some questions may touch on delicate, painful places… we encourage you to take care of yourself and to go as deep as you wish in your reflections. No question is obligatory. We also invite you to answer honestly.
Questions
What is my relationship with masculinity? Do I have a relationship with it?
If I think back to my personal and family history, to my childhood: who were my male role models? What did I like or admire about them? What did they provide me (by their presence/absence)? Did I admire aspects that were different or the same as the aspects I admired in my female role models? Was the model of masculinity embodied by these people more hegemonic or closer to the edge of “Man box” ?
How did I feel about these referents? Did I want to become like them? Were they referents of freedom so that I could be the way I was? With them, did I feel safe or afraid or…? Did these referents ask me to be different from the way I was? What did they reward and what did they punish in the way I reproduced gender?
What have been the greatest lessons about masculinity that I have taken away from them? And the greatest lessons about femininity? Have they marked my relationship with myself? And with other people?
Have they influenced the way I am, relate and love today in some way? In what way? If this influence exists, would I like to change it? What would I like to change?
Does this influence my work with vulnerable children/youth? In what way?
References/resources for further work on the subject
- bell hooks (2000). All About Love: New Visions. Harper.
- Equimundo. (2022). The State of UK Boys: Understanding and Transforming Gender in the Lives of UK Boys. Washington, DC: Equimundo.
- Michael Kaufman (2009). Men, Feminism, and Men’s Contradictory Experiences of power.
- [Spanish] Los Hombres de Verdad Tienen Curvas, podcast de Clara Serra.
